This week we'll be focusing on 7 categories of depression , please be aware these can be further sub-catorgorized , This blog is not an all inclusive , not a debate, it is neutral ,raw, and created to help in understanding of the widely felt and most commonly misunderstood depressive disorders. 

1. Spiritual Growth Depression
2. Anger/Anxiety Depression
3. Child/Elderly Depression
4. Situational /Heartbreak/Grief Depression
5. Chemical/Psychotic Depression 
6. Seasonal Depression
7. Substance Abuse Depression

Life hands us little silver boxes, our own personalized pandoras ,they are wrapped in glittering papers and tied with velvet bows.......and they open themselves.

               The Drifter

           {spiritual or personal growth }

Are You Outgrowing Your Friends?

Are you discovering that you don't like your friends anymore, or that something doesn't feel right?

If you're into personal growth, you will at some point outgrow some or all of your friends. This is especially true with childhood friends. The sooner you can accept it, the easier it'll be.

Your friends may object and ask you why you're abandoning them, or not hanging out with them, but there's not much you can do. 

Your friends create their own reality, and if they choose to create the feeling of abandonment, it is up to them. 

It can get lonely while you're transitioning from one group of friends to another, or choosing to brave a new path alone to self discovery, or with God. Sometimes... You'll wish that you could go back to the way things were. Friendship is like that.

Everything seems so much easier when you selectively pick out memories from the past. Remember those pinky promises? The pacts ? Friends forever no matter what..... You might even try to go back for a while, but it won't feel quite right if you no longer have anything in common.

The longer you try to resist your growth, the harder it'll be to hang on. You will start feeling more and more disconnected from your current group of friends and drawn in another direction. You have reached a sense of self awareness, and every fiber is telling you there IS  a bigger purpose for you right now . If you remain stagnant you will be causing a boiling pot of resentment ,anxiety, and bitterness . Do not feel guilty for putting your own physiological and psychological welfare as a priority.

Some may struggle more than others with the sense of "Do i think i am better than my friends?".  Look at it more as if you're at the train station, jumping on trains going to different destinations.

As you keep growing you will literally move into another wavelength, which is why your connection to your friends is fading.

There's always going to be that sense of obligation, of staying true to your friends, but you also have to stay true to yourself. Follow your gut , not your self doubt. Sometimes you just have to move on. Who knows, maybe you'll meet up with some of your old friends down the road.

Social Conditioning

You've been conditioned. I've been conditioned. We've all been conditioned. The truth of the matter is that you have no obligation to anyone.

The only obligation you have is to yourself. What this means is up to you. You can't keep doing what doesn't feel absolutely right, because it will end up making you miserable.

A touchy subject is family. Blood is thicker than water....right? Listen , there may be phases in your life where you feel a need to recluse from your family just a little or cut some out completely. 

{example : you have 3 months sober but your family member is an alcoholic or un-supportive.} This can be detrimental to your goals. 

{example: you feel the need for a fresh start on love, location,occupation, but you constantly have that friend or family member telling you how selfish , costly, or just plain idiotic that would be .} 

When the feathers in your wings are starting to itch , PLEASE don't let others clip them back , spread them my dear and fly!

 If you don't vibe with your family members, you don't have to be with them. If they are toxic to your life you have the power to stop it and focus on whats in your heart. You deserve happiness and an adventure if you want it! 

While this may sound harsh, it's the truth. Listen to your heart. It requires courage and no one says it's easy all the time, but in the end, it is the right path to travel.

Trusting Yourself

You can let everything unfold at the pace you desire. Fast or slow, it's up to you. Let go of any emotions that are holding you back and accept the situation you are in.

Let your feelings and  heart guide you when it comes to making decisions. Pray for wisdom . If you don't feel like an activity you used to do with your friends no longer excites you, don't do it. If something else is more interesting do it .

Listen to yourself instead of your friends and family.... It's up to you to play out your own life.

What future do you want?

It's always easier to let someone else call the shots, but it doesn't lead to happiness.

Learning Process

Every person in your life is there for a reason. In the end you have to ask yourself what feels right for you.

If you're not growing with your friends anymore, there will be a disconnect. You aren't abandoning your friends. You are simply being aware of the energy shifting and fading away. That's how life works sometimes. 

                     The Left

Are You Drifting Further From  A Beloved Friend?

 Friendships have a tendency to change over time which can cause friends to drift apart. When this happens, it can make people feel lonely and excluded. Here's how to cope.

Everyone goes through changes in their lives and friendships. Sometimes, these changes can cause friends to drift apart when their needs aren't being met or interests are no longer shared.

Here are some situations in which your friendship may change:

• a friend moves away
• a friend switches schools/jobs
• a friend starts a new dating relationship/or gets married
• a friend has another close friend(s)
• a friend becomes heavily involved in unappealing activities
• a friend is dealing with an issue outside of the friendship (like an illness/grief)
• a friend starts taking advantage of you
• shared interests and hobbies change over time
• friends start to go their separate ways in life
• a friend starts a family/priorities change

If your friendship is moving in a direction that doesn't meet your needs, it's OK to feel sad, hurt, jealous or even angry about the situation. Here are some things you can do to cope:

• Take time: try to give your friendship a little room to breathe and grow. It may just need some time to settle down.
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• Talk it out: let your friend know how you're feeling about the friendship. (There's a chance they may be feeling the same way.)
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• Stay positive: try not to accuse your friend or blame them for the situation. Focus on each other's strengths and what you can both do to improve the friendship.
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• Set expectations: explain your needs to your friend (be specific!) and ask about their needs in return. Talking to each other about expectations can help you set boundaries so you feel happier in the friendship.
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• Give it space: if your friendship is really bringing you down, you may need to take a break and spend time outside of the relationship. You could try a new extracurricular activity, hobby or something else that interests you to take your mind off things.
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• Express yourself: consider writing your feelings down in a journal, singing, dancing, creating art or doing something else you enjoy.
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• Meet new friends: look for people in your community whom you'd like to get to know better. You may even find yourself growing closer to people you already know and building on those relationships.
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• Move on: if you've tried to reconnect with your friend and your needs are still not being met, it may be time to move on from the friendship and concentrate on other relationships in your life.
• Get support: sometimes it helps to share how you're feeling with another person.

Feeling lonely, isolated and excluded in a friendship can really hurt. It's important to remember that things can get better and there are ways your friendships can improve.

But if you find yourself in a one sided friendship , as in your once good friend now only calls when they want something from you ,never answers calls or texts,or never makes time , then it is time to put a stop to this toxicity. Do not allow them to patronize you or make you feel guilty.

You are not a bank, charity, taxi cab, punching bag, door mat, or punchline.

Please know that 1 genuine friend is worth their weight in gold! If they don't see your worth , or acknowledge your efforts , take that golden dipped heart and befriend someone who deserves it! BYE FELECIA.